


Love, Halfway There

by dentedsky



Series: Life, In Between [3]
Category: Dong Bang Shin Ki
Genre: Angst, Community: dbsk_flashfic, Family Drama, Fluff, Future Fic, M/M, Parenthood, Romance, Wordcount: 5.000-10.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-03
Updated: 2011-10-03
Packaged: 2017-10-26 13:35:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/283777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dentedsky/pseuds/dentedsky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Changmin and his son return from their life overseas, Yunho is waiting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love, Halfway There

_"I want to fall asleep next to you 100 times a night so I could know you 100 times better before we hit the daylight. And despite of all this, I also want amnesia. So I could relive each kiss with the perfect newness that leaves me smashed in the arms of rapture._ " - Shane Koyczan, Apology

  
Changmin sang like his soul was being ripped from his belly, through his throat and to be exposed, naked, to the audience. Several lights were on him, heating his skin and making him shine, while Yunho sat in the VIP seats and watched, heart hammering in his chest, Dai and Chohee sitting on either side of him.

Changmin gasped out his last note as if he were crying, then threw his head back and panted up at the ceiling, eyelids fluttering open and closed, and the audience went crazy, cheering, screaming, red ocean glittering like a million ecstatic stars.

Afterwards they met in the change room, Changmin sitting with his head in his hands. Dai gave him an uncertain half-hug.

“You made it,” Yunho told him, feeling a burst of pride so strong he could barely breathe. The magnae, the last of the five to stand on that stage... The one to finally become God of the East.

Changmin looked up at him tiredly. His mouth twisted, trying and then failing to smile. “Who would’ve thought, right?”

“ _I_ thought,” Yunho told him. “I knew all along.” He watched Chohee as she started looking at the make-up, picking up a foundation bottle and examining the label. “You’re the handsome one, and you can sing. I mean, _really_ sing.”

Changmin rolled his eyes. “Not this again.” He stood up on shaky legs and went over to Yunho and stared him straight in the eye. “I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, hyung: if you want to look at a good-looking man, look in the mirror. And if you want to hear a good song, listen to one of your solo tracks. Oh, what was it?” He smirked, heavy-lidded and flirtatious. “’Honey Funny Bunny’?”

Yunho laughed, throwing his head back. “Oh yeah, that’s you.” He tickled Changmin under his chin for the split second Changmin allowed him. “Baby.”

*

  
“I’ll be ending promotions soon,” Changmin told him later, on the apartment’s small balcony. The kids were in bed. He looked down into his cup of tea. “This will be my last album.”

“No it won’t,” Yunho dismissed easily. “You’ll have others, but it might not be a bad idea to take a break for a while.”

Changmin hummed in agreement. “Tonight I felt like I was going to cough up blood.”

Yunho touched his arm, concerned.

“I’m fine,” Changmin reassured, answering Yunho’s unsaid question. He took a sip of his tea, then said, “I want to come back to Korea.”

Yunho’s heart thudded so violently he almost dropped his own drink. He stared at Changmin with wide eyes, and tried hard not to get his hopes up, and failed. “You – really?” he gasped out, breath caught in his chest.

“I want to invest in the property market,” Changmin explained. He looked tired. “I already own two properties in Japan – although my ex-wife lives in one and I live in the other.” He scowled.

“You are always welcome to live with me,” Yunho told him hastily, and Changmin threw him a grateful look.

“Yeah,” said Changmin. “But – “

“But?”

“Dai,” he half-whispered. “I only get him on weekends and school holidays; moving back to Korea would mean seeing him even less – “ He broke off and blinked several times, eyes watering. “You know how it is.”

“I do,” Yunho told him honestly, reaching over and rubbing Changmin’s arm.

An hour later they took a shower together so they could wash each other’s backs. Changmin moaned softly as Yunho scrubbed him hard, till his skin was red.

Yunho waited till after Changmin said his long goodnight to Dai, till after they were in pyjamas and under the covers... till after all the lights were off and he could hear that Changmin was settled. Finally, in the dark quiet of the night, Yunho said, “I know. Chohee told me.”

“Hn?” mumbled Changmin, half-asleep already.

“Dai told Chohee, and she told me. The relationship you had, it was with a man, wasn’t it.”

Silence and stillness beside him.

He didn’t want to look, to peer at Changmin in the darkness, because he wanted to allow the other man some privacy. But he moved his hand under the covers and searched for Changmin’s, finding it and giving it a squeeze, then pulling away. “Nothing has to change between us, okay?”

More silence, then softly, “You don’t understand me.”

“I _do_ understand you,” Yunho protested, wriggling with some frustration. Oh, he understood – understood far too well – loving someone, and not being able to have them, and only able to be friends with them, to be their brother, their co-worker, their roommate, their partner in every way except for the bedroom. And then knowing, deep down, the sacrifice made was not just for career but was for a deeper, more primal purpose: of wanting that family, of wanting to nurture something truly your own and to pass on that genetic legacy.

The silence stretched between them and Yunho remembered, years ago, when Yunho and Changmin had decided to have a joint wedding, and Yunho’s fiancé had made an ugly face at him and said, incredulous, “Is it really me you want to marry, or Changmin?” Yunho had laughed as if the question was a big joke, heart fluttering in his chest like a scared, caged bird.

There had been other comments she’d made, too, that Yunho had absolutely loathed. Once, as she cradled baby Chohee close to her chest and Yunho was about to phone Changmin, she’d said, “I don’t trust men who’re prettier than me.”

In hindsight, she was probably jealous. Perhaps she’d known about Changmin’s sexuality even then, long before Yunho had figured it out for himself.

Now Yunho felt the dark space between him and Changmin like a physical stretch of loneliness. He rectified the situation by rolling over and giving Changmin a one-armed hug. Changmin didn’t move, laying there as stiff as a board.

“Nothing has to change,” Yunho told him again, giving him a squeeze. “Okay?”

“Okay,” Changmin croaked out.

“Talk to your hyung,” said Yunho, trying to make their dark conversation a little lighter. “There were others, right?”

“...Yeah,” said Changmin, sounding at least a little more confident. “Minho. Kyuhyun. One of our backup dancers – “

Yunho made a small involuntary noise in the back of his throat.

An awkward pause, then, “Sorry,” said Changmin, “this is probably grossing you out.”

“No, that’s not – no,” said Yunho, swallowing his jealousy down. “Perhaps we’ll talk about it another day.” He let go of his dongsaeng slowly and moved back to his own side of the bed. “But we’re still friends, right?”

“Right,” said Changmin, quietly, and Yunho left it at that.

*

  
Yunho found Changmin putting his shoes on at the door on the way out. He was bent over, adjusting, and when he straightened Yunho caught him under the chin and gave him a goodbye peck on the lips.

He let it linger for half a second longer than he should’ve.

When he pulled away Changmin’s eyes flicked from his to something behind him. Yunho turned.

Chohee stared up at them, wide-eyed. “Ew,” she said, at length.

“We’re friends,” Yunho explained quickly. “Sometimes people, who’ve been friends for a really long time, do this sort of thing. Because we’re like family.” She gave him a disbelieving look and he shifted nervously from one foot to the other. “Get your shoes on, we’re leaving.”

They had the music up loud in the car on the way to the airport, and in the back seat Chohee and Dai were chatting - yet there existed an underlying silence, because Yunho and Changmin said nothing to one another.

Then they were at the flight gate and Changmin and Dai were about to board.

Changmin shifted his bag on his shoulder and stared at Yunho’s forehead, while Yunho stared at his chin.

“I’ll come back,” said Changmin quickly. “We’ll visit.”

They looked into each other’s eyes finally. Changmin’s were wide, fearful and hopeful. Yunho said, “We’ll come visit you. It’s been ages since we’ve been to Japan, anyway,” he added on an exhale, smiling nervously.

Changmin nodded. “I’ll leave first,” he said, reluctantly.

“Safe trip,” Yunho breathed, and Changmin grabbed Dai’s hand, turned away and took a couple of steps –

Before letting go and turning back around. He walked the two strides it took to come back to Yunho and throw his arms around his neck. Yunho hugged him back tightly and buried his face in Changmin’s neck, inhaling his sweet scent and trying to commit it to memory.

Changmin abruptly let go and turned back around, taking Dai’s waiting hand and going to the gate. Yunho watched them get scanned, Changmin’s head tilted low and Dai getting special attention from the air hostess. Then they were gone.

Back in the car Yunho leaned his elbow on the door and rubbed his eyes with index finger and thumb and tried to regulate his breathing. He felt the pain in his sinuses and head as he tried desperately not to cry. Loneliness brewed like a storm in his chest.

Then Chohee reached over and grabbed his hand and the storm slowly dissipated. He gave her little hand a light squeeze.

*

  
Yunho and Chohee did visit them in Japan. At the time Changmin had finished album promotions and had landed a project working on a soundtrack for a Japanese animation. A few months later Yunho had gotten a part in a movie which involved filming in Japan for a few days. Though they were very busy they made time for each other as best they could. Changmin visited Korea twice.

Two years went by.

Then one normal, sunny day, Yunho was reading news on his tablet PC and an article came up about Changmin.

He was filing for full custody of Dai, the article said. Yunho phoned him immediately.

“That’s in the news already?” said Changmin in disbelief. “I’m sure the media makes it out to be more exciting than it actually is.”

“So what’s going on?” Yunho demanded impatiently. “Talk to your hyung!”

“I don’t know, we had a meeting with our lawyers. She’s getting married to some Chinese high ranking Communist Party official – “

“Changmin,” said Yunho with sympathy, “I’m so sorry – “

“Oh god, I don’t care,” Changmin told him dismissively. “Anyway she’s moving to China. So we sat Dai down, and we asked him what he wanted to do, and he immediately said he wants to move to Korea, with me.”

Yunho’s heart hammered in his chest. Full of sudden energy he got up and started to pace. And oh God, he didn’t want to hope, and he didn’t want to be selfish –

“You don’t sound very thrilled,” Yunho noted, hoping to squash that one particular niggling doubt.

“I am thrilled, I can’t wait to go home, and I get full custody of my son! It’s just that – well it’s Dai, he doesn’t want to come to Korea because he wants to be with me, he wants to come here to – “

Changmin made a despairing noise on the other end of the line.

“He wants to _audition_.”

*

  
Despite his small reluctance Changmin wasted no time in packing up and moving back to Korea, arriving in the country within a week. He and Yunho were so happy they hugged each other and laughed into each other’s hair, like a couple of silly teenagers.

That night they cooked dinner together in the kitchen wearing matching aprons. Dai came in. “Ahjusshi,” he said to Yunho, “want to hear my song?”

Yunho wiped his hands on his apron and give Dai his full attention. “Sure, go ahead.”

Dai held his hands behind his back and lifted his chest and started to sing a few lines of a slow song. Then he stopped and looked up at him hopefully.

“Very beautiful,” Yunho told him. “I don’t recognise the song though, what is it?”

“I wrote it myself,” said Dai, beaming. He went over to his father. “Is dinner ready yet, Appa?”

“Not yet,” Changmin told him, expression closed. “Give us ten minutes.”

“Okay,” said Dai. As he left the kitchen he asked Yunho, “Did you really like it, Ahjusshi?”

“Very much,” Yunho told him.

When he was gone Yunho gave Changmin a wide-eyed look. Changmin scowled. “He’s very good,” Yunho told Changmin honestly. “And he wrote that song by himself. Come to think of it, I think that’s the most I’ve ever heard him speak.”

Changmin glared at him. He was stirring the jjigae angrily.

“If he auditions at the agency – “

“He’ll get in for sure,” Changmin burst out heatedly. “Takes after his mother, that boy.”

“He takes after _you_ ,” Yunho corrected. “Wow, what a voice.”

“He used to like video games, you remember?” He took out the spoon and slammed it down on the counter. “Why couldn’t he aspire to be a games designer, or a programmer or something?”

Yunho chose not to say anything because this was one of those subjects where they would always disagree. If a boy of Dai’s talent had a dream, then Yunho was all for supporting him. He could and would not ever understand how Changmin had come to hate his career as much as he did. And it was true, being famous meant you couldn’t live a normal life, that there would always be people who obsessed over you, or who wanted you dead – Yunho learnt that the hard way – but this was clearly Dai’s dream, and dreams were precious.

“Let’s take him,” Yunho ventured later while they were in bed and Changmin’s only escape was a dramatic stomp to the futon in the lounge room – a temper tantrum Yunho knew Changmin was saving for a real fight. “See what happens. Maybe he won’t get in, maybe he won’t like it.”

Changmin growled deep in the back of his throat and violently turned onto his stomach. “I don’t want to talk about it, hyung!” he practically shouted into his pillow. “Why do you even care?”

Yunho stretched out under the covers. “He’s my son, too.”

Changmin’s sigh was muffled. “Just great, neither of you are going to shut up about it, are you?”

Yunho grinned up at the ceiling at his double victory: not only had Changmin given in but he hadn’t contradicted him about Dai being his son. A warmth spread from his belly to his chest.

“You can take him,” said Changmin, resigned, and Yunho scooted over and hugged Changmin from behind. Changmin moved, rolling onto his side and wriggling back so they were flush against each other, spooning.

On Friday Yunho took Dai to a private audition. “He did really well,” one of the judges told him afterwards. “Is he really Max Changmin’s son?”

“Yep,” said Yunho proudly.

The other man beamed. “We’ll be in touch.”

After the audition, Yunho picked up Changmin from home, then picked up Chohee from her mother’s. The four of them went to dinner at a discreet restaurant.

“You took Dai to a private audition?” Chohee practically screeched, indignant.

“Keep your voice down,” Yunho scolded. He leaned forward and squinted at her face. “Does your mother let you wear make-up?”

Chohee flicked her long hair, now dyed brown, over one shoulder. “Of course.”

“Well I won’t allow it. You’re scrubbing it off as soon as we get home.”

“I’m thirteen!” Chohee retorted. “I’m practically a woman!”

Yunho calmly ate. “No make-up, and that’s the end of it.”

Changmin and Dai were silently eating, occasionally glancing between them. “Appa,” began Chohee again, her voice changed to a sweet pleading tone. “Could you please get me an audition?”

Yunho paused with his food half-way to his mouth as a strange coldness came over him. He glanced at Changmin and caught his eye, but Changmin offered no sympathy, in fact he looked smug.

“Since when have you ever been interested in this sort of thing?” Yunho shot back at Chohee. Inside, he was panicking. “I thought you said you wanted to be a doctor.”

“I did, but I was waiting for the next SM auditions – Appa, please, I’ll do anything.”

Yunho looked her in the eye. “Will you stop wearing make-up?”

Chohee pressed her lips into a hard, stubborn line.

“Alright I promise,” she burst out.

Yunho leaned over his meal, the hot scent of kimchi permeating his senses. “Changmin will take you,” he muttered into his dinner, defeated. Changmin snorted.

“It’s different with girls,” Yunho said to Changmin later, when they were alone. He was pacing around the bedroom. “And it’s not like in our day – in our day, there were _rules_. Music videos got banned if a girl was caught dancing provocatively, spreading her legs – “ He shuddered.

“I distinctly remember _us_ spreading our legs,” Changmin replied nonchalantly.

“Yes, and our video got banned!”

“Because it promoted guns and gambling,” Changmin chuckled, back of his hand pressed to his lips. He sobered. “Now you know how _I_ feel. I have these awful images in my head of Dai, parading around with his shirt off.” He paled.

Yunho stopped pacing and gave him a sympathetic look. “He’s only eleven, they won’t make him do that just yet.”

“Aigo,” Changmin groaned, pushing up his glasses to rub his eyes. Yunho crawled onto the bed and sat next to him, leaning his chin on Changmin’s shoulder.

“But this...” Yunho said, softly. “This feels nice.”

Changmin sighed and looked at him side-along. “What feels nice?”

“This.” He gestured between them. “You, me, Chohee, Dai – we’re like a family.”

He’d said too much. Changmin looked away and Yunho caught the blush creeping over his dongsaeng’s cheeks. Yunho silently persuaded his heart to stop hammering. Then Changmin whispered, “I don’t want to ruin things with you.”

“You won’t,” Yunho told him gently, “I promise.” He gathered whatever patience he had left deep in his soul. He thought, _I’ll wait for you forever_ , and wanted to say it out loud, but didn’t.

By silent mutual agreement they got under the covers and Yunho hugged Changmin from behind, nose pressed to the back of his neck.

In the morning Yunho awoke first, finding they’d both moved apart, though Changmin, now lying on his back, had flung his hand back against Yunho’s chest, fingers gently curled. Yunho leaned up on one elbow and watched Changmin’s chest rise and fall gently, and memorised the way his fringe gently grazed his brow. It was these moments Yunho loved the most, being about to wake up next to Changmin every morning, soft and warm with sleep. If he couldn’t have anything else he would want this, this small pocket of time between night and day where Changmin was all his.

Yunho leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to one eye, then his ear, then his neck.

Changmin moaned softly in his sleep and rolled over, back to Yunho, and Yunho moved in, kissing his neck again, then hooking a finger in the collar of his t-shirt and kissing the bare skin of his shoulder. He pushed a hand under his tee and felt the hard definition of his chest, and couldn’t help brushing a thumb against a nipple.

Changmin grunted and abruptly moved, rolling over on top of Yunho, grabbing his wrists and pinning them against the pillows. Yunho caught his breath at the sudden action, staring up at his dongsaeng with wide eyes.

Changmin glared down at him sleepily and Yunho thought, _Oh no, I’ve gone too far_. But then Changmin leaned down and gave Yunho and dry, closed-mouthed kiss. “Good morning,” he said blearily, then rolled off him and got up, then left the room.

Yunho laid there with his hands still on the pillow where Changmin had left them, and stared up at the ceiling with wide eyes.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he whispered. He trailed his hand down his own body and touched himself, and thought about what it would be like to spread Changmin’s smooth thighs apart gently, to see him gasp up at him, lips red-swollen from kisses.

That day he had a long shower took extra care in his appearance, keeping his hair and clothes neat. Then he made a couple of hologram calls in his workroom.

They took the kids to the war memorial park that had been set up after the war. Yunho noticed scattered paparazzi lurking nearby and behind trees and chose to ignore them. Today was about Changmin, Dai, and Chohee, the latter of which was walking ahead of them, talking animatedly into her phone earpiece, which she’d been doing more and more lately.

“Nah sorry, I can’t holo-phone you right now, I’m in a park. Yeah I know, weird right? But it’s a _family day_ or whatever.” She glanced at them over her shoulder. “Yeah I’m with my appas and my dongsaeng – yeah I _know_ , I, like, have two appas now, and they keep making _eyes_ at each other and stuff, it’s so mushy and gross.”

Yunho grinned at Changmin over Dai’s head and Changmin giggled silently, eyes like mismatched half-moons. Dai, between them, clasped their hands.

Changmin looked down. “Aren’t you a little old for that?”

In answer Dai smiled up at him and brought their hands closer together until Yunho and Changmin were the ones holding hands, instead. “I’ll stand right behind,” Dai told them quietly, “so the camera men can’t see.”

Yunho thought the paparazzi would probably still be able to get shots, but then Changmin rubbed his thumb over the back of Yunho’s hand and his heart skipped a beat and he thought, suddenly, _Let them see. I have nothing to hide._

Chohee glanced over her shoulder at them and when she saw their clasped hands, she rolled her eyes. “Oh my god,” she continued on the phone, “now they’re like, _holding hands._ So embarrassing. Oh yeah, Appa said he’ll get me an audition at the agency – “ She squealed. “I know right? So awesome – “

“I made the call this morning,” Yunho told her, raising his voice so she could hear. “You have an audition on Tuesday – “

“OH MY GOD!” Chohee suddenly screeched, turning around and bouncing into her father’s arms. Yunho had to let go of Changmin’s hand to hug her back. “Appa, I love you!”

At the far end of the park was the memorial proper – a large stone structure with all the engraved names of the soldiers and allies who had died in battle. Yunho ran a finger over Shindong’s name as Changmin took the bouquet of flowers from his loose satchel and placed it at the foot of the structure with the other many flowers and cards. Changmin brushed his fingers over Jonghyun’s name before his eyes lingered sadly on Kyuhyun’s. Now that South Korea was under Communist rule it was forbidden to pray in public, but regardless Yunho’s eyes went heavenward and he sent a silent prayer to God to look after the souls of his friends.

*

  
Sunday was spent at the dining table helping their children with their homework. Yunho was helping Dai with his mathematics problems and Changmin was helping Chohee with her history comprehension questions. As the afternoon rolled round Changmin got up and went to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

Yunho rubbed his hands together nervously, blinking down at the tablet PC Dai was using to pen out answers, and thought about getting up, going to the kitchen and –

“Do you think you can do the rest of the questions?” he said, abruptly.

Dai pressed the pen to his chin and didn’t notice Yunho’s sudden change in composure. “Yes I think so.”

“Ok then,” said Yunho, getting up. “I’ll just – “ but then he was already walking into the kitchen, grabbing Changmin’s waist, turning him around from the bench and pressing his mouth to his firmly; first kissing his bottom lip, then the luscious curve of his top lip, registering how soft his lips felt, hearing the small _hm_ of surprise Changmin made. Heart hammering in his chest he couldn’t help himself, he used one hand at the small of Changmin’s back to pull them flush together and used his tongue to gently sneak in, feeling warm triumph overcome him when Changmin opened his mouth readily and kissed him back, tilting his head to the side to allow Yunho’s tongue in deeper to caress his own. Changmin’s hands moved from Yunho’s biceps to his shoulders, then used that leverage to dip Yunho a little as a thumb grazed his cheek, deepening the kiss even more. Yunho pulled away slightly, stared at Changmin’s red, panting mouth, then slid his arms around his neck and kissed him hard again, fingers in each other’s hair and tongues tangling together.

It was Changmin who broke away the second time, but not far, lips quivering against Yunho’s, fingers caught in Yunho’s shirt and they were both breathing heavily, bodies taut. “I love you,” Changmin suddenly gasped against his mouth, and Yunho abruptly pulled back and stared at him with wide eyes.

“You – “ said Yunho. “What?”

“Nothing,” breathed Changmin, eyes wide with fear. “I didn’t say anything.”

Yunho caressed Changmin’s arms urgently. _Oh please, please!_ “Yes you did. You said – You said – Did you mean it?“ Yunho added quickly.

A peculiar look passed over Changmin’s features because his expression became smooth with feigned aloofness. “Yes I did, happy? I hadn’t meant to say it out loud. Please let me continue – “ He cast his eyes around the kitchen, looking as panicky as a cornered animal. “ – finish whatever it was I was doing.”

“OK,” said Yunho, backing away slowly, trying to give Changmin the space he obviously needed. What he really wanted to do was step back into Changmin’s embrace and spend the rest of their lives kissing, but he knew him well enough to read his moods and the last thing he wanted was to get his head bitten off. Besides, Yunho hadn’t forgotten their kids were only in the next room; there would be plenty of time for kissing and other related activities later.

For Yunho dinner felt tense even though Chohee was talking animatedly about her friends from school and Dai was making faces at her as if he thought her stories were dumb. Yunho was only half-listening and was instead noticing little things, like how soft Changmin’s hands looked and how he would sometimes rest the tips of his chopsticks against his bottom lip.

They spent the last hours of the evening on the couch watching some movie about a family going on a road trip together. Yunho was already despairing about dropping Chohee at school tomorrow because it meant she wouldn’t be with him for another week, but at least he would get to see her on Tuesday at the agency. There also wasn’t the insidious loneliness creeping at the edges of his consciousness like before because he had Changmin and Dai, now.

Yunho had a shower, got ready for bed, then got under the covers and waited. Changmin seemed to be fiddling around and taking a lot longer than usual to get himself organised, doing something in the kitchen, putting Dai to bed and having a long shower. He took so long in fact, that Yunho fell asleep despite the anticipation thrumming in his veins.

Darkness had sunk her claws well into the night when Yunho woke up to Changmin kissing him. Yunho mumbled something along the lines of “Hello,” but he wasn’t quite sure.

“Sorry,” whispered Changmin as he hovered over him. “I um, I’m not sure I know what I should be doing.”

Yunho curled a hand around his neck and silently pulled him down for more slow, sweet kisses, Changmin moving then settling his weight, their legs tangled. Yunho smoothed his hands up Changmin’s t-shirt, revelling in the hot, smooth feel of his skin. It felt nice but inside he was panicking – he’d waited years for this moment, to have Changmin in his arms, kissing him back.

“Hold on – “ Yunho mumbled, breaking away and abruptly leaning up on his elbows, causing their foreheads to smack together.

“Ow,” they said, at the same time.

Yunho reached over awkwardly and turned on the bed side lamp. They both squinted, blinking in the sudden light in the room. Changmin’s hair was messy, and he was kneeling on the bed, self-consciously pulling his t-shirt down over his stomach.

“Why?” asked Changmin, not bothering to ask the full question, knowing Yunho would know what he meant.

“Because,” said Yunho, “I like being able to see – to see you.” He swallowed and realised his mistake – if he could see Changmin that was great, but it meant Changmin would see him too, and he was suddenly conscious of his flaws. He was still fit, but he wasn’t quite as beautiful as Changmin, not quite as toned and his skin lacked the smoothness Changmin seemed to posses. They’d see each other naked before in the shower and bath house, but that was _different. This_ \- this was different.

Changmin laid down and pulled Yunho and top of him, spreading his legs and allowing Yunho’s hips to fit in. Yunho felt Changmin’s hardness through the cotton of their pyjama pants and had to tell himself not to rut against hin like an animal. He leaned down and kissed him slowly, keeping his eyes open so he could watch Changmin’s eyes flutter closed, dark eyelashes spread against his cheeks. Changmin placed his hands gently on Yunho’s back before sliding over to palm the curve of his backside and Yunho took the cue, slowly circling his hips so they could slide against one another.

Yunho broke away from his mouth and leaned up a little. He quickened his pace but kept it smooth, hips undulating, before sliding Changmin’s t-shirt up to his neck, exposing his belly, pectorals and collar bones. Just the sight of him half-naked, staring up at him with hooded eyes sent Yunho’s blood rushing through his veins, and he leaned his head back down to mouth at Changmin’s skin, then used his free hand dip under Changmin’s pyjama pants and caress him between his legs. They moaned. Changmin clamped a hand over Yunho’s mouth.

“You’re making too much noise,” Changmin whispered and Yunho paused in his activities.

“Speak for yourself,” said Yunho, then caught the uncertain look on Changmin’s face. He pulled his hand from Changmin’s pants. “Did you want to stop?” he asked, kicking himself inside. Of course he himself didn’t want to stop, not when he was hard as a rock and practically twitching in his pants.

At least Changmin looked just as reluctant, but then he nodded, once, and Yunho rolled off him, but didn’t go very far.

“Perhaps another night, when your daughter’s not in the next room,” Changmin clarified.

“Hmm, yeah,” Yunho murmured, burying his nose in Changmin’s hair and slipping his hand under his top to palm his stomach. “Tomorrow, then,” he added, practically lying through his teeth as his hand slipped under Changmin’s waistband again. He leaned over and kissed him forcefully to stifle his protests, then allowed himself to feel triumphant when Changmin moaned into his mouth and his body went loose, then taut, then loose again.

*

  
On Tuesday Chohee had her audition, and it was the same judge from last time who came and spoke to Yunho first.

“We like her,” Dongsun, the judge, told him, looking at Yunho with bright eyes, and Yunho’s heart sank. He glanced to the side in despair, hoping to catch Changmin’s eye, but his dongsaeng was talking to Chohee and didn’t see. “One of our companies is casting for a new family drama – she will most likely be cast as the main character’s younger sister – not a lead role, but a solid one.”

Yunho’s eyes snapped back to his face. "You’re not taking her on as a trainee singer?”

Dongsun scratched the back of his head. “We believe she is suited for acting,” he said, which Yunho knew was a nice way of saying her singing voice wasn’t strong enough. Yunho didn’t mind though, and he beamed at him. The other man blinked at him rapidly, blown over by the force of Yunho’s smile.

“She looked really happy,” Changmin told Yunho later in the evening, in the bathroom. Changmin started unbuttoning Yunho’s shirt, then he pushed it gently off his shoulders before bending his head and gently kissing his skin.

Yunho hummed agreeably in response and fingered the clasp on Changmin’s trousers. He wished he could capture all the different happy moments of his life and place them in jars, then he could go to his cupboard and take one out occasionally to feel each moment with renewed rapture. He undid Changmin’s trousers pushed them down just enough so Yunho could palm his bare hip bones, and then he thought about the old days, briefly, before looking towards the days to come.


End file.
